he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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