Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
