VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
