I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
