Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
