haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
