I swear she didn't look like that last week.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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