sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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