not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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