We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
