And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
