people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Bring me that man meat
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
tell me about the eggs
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
