I'm going to jail i love you
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
