Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
