Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
