I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
