i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
