after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
