So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
