so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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