his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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