i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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