We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
