he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
