they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
