She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You work out of a Hotel?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
