Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
