somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just want nice things and good sex
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Randomize
