I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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