well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
