She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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