you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
