Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
