Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
