About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
