she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
