i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
