Ambien. No doubt about it.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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