It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
