just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
