At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
