she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
