Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
