I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
