New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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