You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
