it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
