Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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