is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
