it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
